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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Life Lessons of a Bio Major #1

Don't forget the null hypothesis

If there is anything I have learned in quantitative biology it's that the program R is a bitch.

I enter class, sit down at the computer, and rant at the computer for the remainder of class and lab.

"Goddamn, freaking R!!! That is too the right function! Error? Error? Error?!! I did too put the right words in. No it doesn't work like that! The Exponential function goes like this! It is not wrong!! Son of a biscuit!"

However, there is one function that I have learned to love and that is the link between Excel and R. Specifically the ability to put a table made in Excel into R. Because making a table in R is frustrating as hell.

This function is like the savior to me. Excel is like a gentle grazing pony on a bright sunny day. Maybe a little stubborn, but generally easy to handle.

R is like a stubborn donkey that hears a train and takes off running and you can't stop it no matter how hard you try. Stupid program

Now, when we run functions in R, we are told run a null model as well as models with the other variables. A null model is just another column except filled with zeros.

That stupid null model is hard to remember.

Seriously, I just want to be done with lab. It's 2 hours of math and fighting with R. I just want to run the damn models and be done with it.

But no. No, I always manage to forget the null column.

This means going back, putting the column into Excel, copying, putting the code back into R, and rerunning the models yet again.

So never forget the null. It's a pain in the ass to redo.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Raptor Rescue: Bad Idea, but Best Conversation Ever

Manda: Rawr!!!

Staci: Errr...i don't speak dinosaur...did someone fall down a well again? Lol

Manda: Not timmmmmy! Where is lassy when you need him?

Staci: I don't know but timmy needs to be more careful, the little klutz...fourth time this month! D:

Manda: Lmao

Staci: Now I want to see timmy get rescued by a dinosaur...

Manda: Lol a velociraptor is on ze way

Staci: ...Oh dear...

Manda: I bt you could already tell but i r b drunke

Staci: I kinda wondered lmao

Manda: Lol

Staci: I find it highly entertaining that you spelt velociraptors right while drunk. I can't even do that sober, lmao.

Manda: Hahahaha just shows you how much I love them. plus its programMmexd in my phone

Staci: Lol XD.
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Later That Week:

As sent to multiple recipients:

PSA: There are now velociraptors on rescue squads. Please be advised. You probably don't want their help. Please inform all your friends!!!
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A hilarious joke with my friend. But seriously, be careful. Ze velociraptors are afoot and they're out to save your lives...then eat you.

Be warned.